As the old saying goes, “Two’s company, three's a crowd.” But that’s not the case for the many, many people who like having threesomes, or at least have dreamed about bringing in (or being) a third. When Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and member of the Men's Health advisory panel, interviewed 4,175 Americans about their sexual fantasies for his book Tell Me What You Want, he found that 89% of people had fantasized about having a threesome—making it the most common sexual fantasy. And those numbers maybe still be growing: According to Pornhub’s 2021 year-in-review, searches for “threesome” grew by 40% worldwide, becoming the sixth-most-popular search in the United States.
If you’re a fan of watching threesome porn where there are at least two dicks involved, you’ve likely come across this classic threesome position: the spit-roast. It is one of the most popular positions depicted in MFM, MMF, and MMM porn.
“Spit-roasting describes a threesome where a receiving partner is being penetrated both orally and either anally or vaginally simultaneously,” says sex educator Kenneth Play, author of Beyond Satisfied. The position gets its name from a pig (or any animal) spit-roasting over a fire—poles going in and of both ends.
Traditionally, “spit-roasting has been done with two men and one woman,” says Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist and sex educator. “However, you can now do a spit-roast with folks of any genders thanks to dildos and strap-ons."
Have some questions on spit-roasting? Here's everything you need to know, according to sex educators and porn stars.
What does spit roasting look like?
When pulled off successfully, spit roasting should look something like this:
Wait, isn’t that the same position as the Eiffel Tower? It’s very similar, but the Eiffel Tower position has one final component: the two penetrating partners high-fiving or holding hands to make a tower-like shape. Hence the position's name. But don’t be concerned as to whether you’re technically in the Eiffel Tower position or spit-roast position. Unless you’re really into high-fives and holding hands, it doesn’t matter at all.
What do people find arousing about being spit-roasted?
"The overwhelming pleasure,” says adult film star April Olsen (link NSFW). “It’s often quite pleasurable having a dick in your mouth while receiving dick in the ass or pussy. Something about your senses being overloaded with stimuli (i.e., more dick) makes the experience kind of explosive.”
Some people like that it's all about them, when they're the meat in the middle of that aggressive sandwich. “There’s something about being the center of attention while also being completely dominated that really turns me on,” says adult film star Jordan Jameson.
What should you do before you get spit-roasted?
It can be challenging to talk dirty, or talk at all, when being penetrated in both the mouth and vagina, Olsen says. That’s why, beforehand, she recommends that you tell your partners “directly how fast you want it, how deep, how romantic, or how plain nasty you want them to treat you. While on the subject, let them know what you don’t want, and establish a safe word in case things get too heated over the metaphoric open flame.”
And here’s an insider tip: Before you put your mouth on anyone’s penis, use Biotene Dry Mouth Spray. “Proper lubrication of your holes—even the mouth hole—is everything when it comes to a rigorous play session,” Olsen says. “You need to keep things slippery, and the extra spit in your mouth [from the Biotene Spray] will help facilitate the penis to the back of your throat—if that’s your thing.”
What are some other tips for making spit-roasting more pleasurable?
1. You don’t need to blow them the whole time.
“If you're getting fucked hard one moment and can't suck the dick properly, just grab it, jerk it, and talk dirty,” says adult film star Spencer Bradley (link NSFW).
2. Find the rhythm.
If the two penetrators are off-beat, it can create an uncomfortable experience for the person in the middle, explains adult film star Siri Dahl (link NSFW). That’s why Dahl recommends that the person in the back thrust while the person in front (getting blown) stays still. “Let momentum do the work,” she says.
3. Ditch the bed.
“Sure, a king-size bed is great for fitting multiple people, but my personal favorite for the spit-roast setup is a massage table,” Dahl says. “It's the perfect height for both of the guys to do it while standing up. Also, I bet you could convince one of the guys to give you a shoulder massage while he's thrusting away." If you don’t have a massage table, you can use a couch or sofa instead.
4. Let the lube flow freely.
“If you’re doing anal, you need lube,” Jameson says. “This is also true when you’re being spit-roasted.” Even if you're sticking to vaginal penetration, having some water-based lube nearby is a great idea.
5. Use a sex pillow or wedge.
Drastic height differences can be a hindrance when spit-roasting, Wright says. To remedy this issue, "Use a wedge or specific sex pillow to help adjust the height of the middle person being penetrated."
